


Oh Children

by Sirius4Life



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Angstober, Depression, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26844988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirius4Life/pseuds/Sirius4Life
Summary: Alex believes Tom has been killed. He doesn't know how to live in a world without Tom and he doesn't think he wants to. This story takes place in an AU where Alex was adopted by Ben/Fox after Scorpia Rising. Tom was also adopted by Ben after CPS removed him from his parents place.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider or any of it's characters.  
> Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt, Depression, Grief/Mourning
> 
> I tried to write this as accurately as possible. I did some research on how to write depressed/suicidal characters as well as using some examples from my own life to help give an accurate depiction. If you notice any problems with this, please let me know in the comment sections and I will take it down and fix it.

Alex sat huddled in the shower, letting the water soak into his clothes. The water was ice cold, but he didn’t make a move to change it. He wanted to be numb. He wanted the pain to go away but knew it never would. 

Tom was dead.

Mrs. Jones had called him and Ben into her office, he had expected to be sent on another mission, but one look at her face told him otherwise. He knew that look. It was the same look the policemen had on their faces when they told him Ian had died. She told him that a body had been pulled out of one of the canals in Naples, where Tom was visiting his brother Jerry. The body fit Tom’s description and a visit to Jerry’s flat proved that neither Tom nor his brother had been seen in a couple days. The Italian police had immediately opened a missing person’s case on Jerry and sent Tom’s body to the medical examiner for an autopsy, though cause of death seemed clear, a bullet to the back of the head. Mrs. Jones had assured them that MI6 would be participating in the investigation and find who was responsible. 

Alex hadn’t said anything on the ride home. He barely heard Ben talking to him. He didn’t want to talk about his feelings. Talking would only make it real. He didn’t want this to be real. Alex had gone upstairs to his room as soon as they got home. Ben had gone to call the rest of K-Unit. Alex had stayed in his room until he heard cars pull into the driveway, that’s when he went and locked himself in the bathroom and started the shower. As long as he was in the shower, they couldn’t come in. They couldn’t try and get him to talk.  
Alex didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t imagine a life without Tom. Tom had been there for everything. From dealing with school problems, to dealing with MI6, to helping him heal from Jack’s death. Tom was the reason Alex fought so hard to make it home from every mission. Tom was the reason Alex could still consider himself at least somewhat sane. If Tom wasn’t here anymore, he didn’t want to be either. 

And that was it. Alex knew what he wanted to do, what he had to do. 

Alex got up and turned off the water. He grabbed a towel and tried to dry off the best he could before quickly crossing the hall into his room. There he quickly changed into dry clothes, throwing the wet ones in the hamper. Alex took a shaky breath as he grabbed the door handle. If he was going to pull this off, he was going to have to convince K-unit that he was okay, relatively. But he could do it, he had to.

“I’m coming Tom.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider or any of the characters.  
> Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt, Depression, Grieving/Mourning

Alex sat alone on the bus, watching the different cars of London pass by. He glanced at the map at the front of the bus. He would be at his stop shortly.   
Getting out of the house had been easier than he thought. When he had first gone downstairs, K-Unit had predictably been there offering condolences and words of sympathy. After a minute or two of allowing them to talk, he had excused himself by stating he needed to go get some air and was going for a walk. They had offered to go with him, but he insisted that he wanted to be alone.

He walked the neighborhood for a long time before he had finally decided upon a place. There weren’t many places where he could do it, but this place felt right. It only made sense that the place where he had once almost died should be the place where he would end it all. From there it was all a matter of catching a bus and getting into the building.   
Getting into the building wouldn’t be a problem. Despite their promises, MI6 had yet to fully enhance their security. The rooftop where Scorpia’s sniper had nearly killed was still largely unprotected. Alex had actually gone up to the rooftop once before with Ben. He had thought it might bring some closure to the incident and allow Alex to heal. 

Alex got up as the bus approached his stop. The sign had said to stay seated until the bus came to a complete stop, but he didn’t care anymore. He exited the bus and quickly started walking towards the building. The longer he stayed out on the pavement, the higher the chance of being intercepted by MI6. They weren’t completely lax about security after all. 

Alex approached the side door of the building and quickly picked the lock. The alarm started to beep as he entered the building, but he was able to disarm with the press of a few buttons. Alex walked forward and pressed the button for the elevator. A moment later, the doors opened and Alex stepped in and selected the top floor. Alex tried not to think about what he was doing. He was afraid if he started to think too much about what he was doing, he would back out. The doors opened again, and Alex walked directly to the service doorway where he knew the stairs to the roof were. A few moments later he was climbing up the stairs and stepping out onto the roof. 

The cool wind blew against his face as he walked to the edge of the roof. He could see the building that pretend to be a bank standing right before him. It stood there cold as ever against the dark cloudy sky. As Alex stood there at the edge, he felt the anger and grief that had been building up inside him make its way. He felt the tears fall down his face. He didn’t try to stop them from coming. He took a deep shaky breath and stepped up onto the ledge. 

The wind was blowing against him faster now, almost as if it were trying to push away from the edge to safety. Alex looked down. The few people that were out walking hadn’t noticed him yet, but he knew that MI6 would have seen him by now and raised the alarm. He just needed a large enough break between the people down below and he would be free. 

“ALEX! WAIT!”

Alex turned to look at the voice and saw Ben standing there. He wondered how Ben had known where to find him. 

“Alex, Tom’s not dead.”

Alex felt his heart give a jolt. It couldn’t be true. They had found his body. But Ben wouldn’t tell a lie like that to him, not even as he stood on the ledge of a building. 

“What?” Alex said desperately.

“The body wasn’t Tom’s. The body belonged to a local kid who crossed one of the local gangs.”

Alex was about to ask where Tom was then when the door to roof opened again.

Tom came running forward, only stopping when Ben held out his arm to stop him from getting any closer. They didn’t want to risk startling Alex off the edge. 

“Alex! I’m fine! I’m okay! Jerry and I went on a last-minute trip before I came back. We didn’t think to tell anyone! I’m sorry! Just please, get down from there!” Tom said desperately.

Alex stared at Tom for a moment before leaping of the ledge and running towards his best friend. Tom ran forward and pulled Alex into hug. Tom felt tears slide down his face as he felt his friend shake in his arms. 

Ben stood there watching Alex and Tom. They were both going to need a lot of help to get through this. Ben already had scheduled an appointment with Dr. Flint in the morning for Alex, but he would call back to schedule an appointment for Tom as well. They would get through this. He knew they would.


End file.
